So here I sit a few weeks later, still hearing from the band how great a job my bartender “friend” did singing with us. She suggested some songs she would like to try (at least one being on our current set list). I took it up as a challenge to learn the songs on acoustic guitar (great opportunity for me). Now here’s where one of those pesky walls appears: Other than stopping in the bar to say hi and enjoy a cocktail gratis, I have not heard ONE peep from her.
Fact is we have gotten to know each other and (again, she’ll probably knock me down for this) one thing she mentioned is unplugging herself, as in not replying to text messages or other (and this is the only way to reach her). Well, it rings (pun intended) true. Not a peep. For whatever reason, maybe it’s the wall (I do hope that’s all it is).
I can’t do anything about that, but I can work on my own knocking down of the walls. I started with something quite simple (for me): message friends on Facebook asking them to come to my band’s gig. I’m really bad at the ask. Just about any ASK. I know why (and so do you): Fear of rejection. Plain and simple. So, I start with something that, at this point, I know won’t bother me, but will get me out of the box running. Ask my friends. If they say NO, it’s not personal, they probably had something else planned (ooh, there’s another wall that needs knocking down, waiting until the last minute to ASK knowing full well I’ll receive NO as the answer). So I did. Let’s say out of just under 500 people (Facebook and Google+ friends and acquaintances) about 5% responded. That’s 1% better than a post card campaign response. And, abut 2-2½% showed up. I’m not complaining as half of that number came from a Google+ event posted just one day before the show! Hey, I can do this, just repeat the same steps, doing it much earlier.
Next wall I’m working to knock down – writing lyrics. I started this weekend by turning off the phone and internet for 6 hours. I didn’t miss a thing! Took out my yellow notepad, grabbed a pen and started writing thoughts. Single sentences, ideas sitting in my head when they could do more on paper. Used some of what’s happened with said singer as motivating thoughts. I can do this. Did it last night too, another full page of one line ideas.
OK, I’m not feeling great about not hearing from my singing bartender. I tend to think I did something wrong when people I care about don’t respond. I did take the lesson to heart though and worked on my own walls. I can do this. You can do this.